April is Autism Awareness Month. For me, this is time of reflection, I can't help but reflect upon what has happened since the day Christian was diagnosed. I'm going to do a series of posts about our journey in hopes of raising Autism Awareness.
It's been 20 months since Christian was diagnosed. The day he was diagnosed, was a normal Wednesday for us. Christian had speech therapy at Children's hospital, which we did every Wednesday. Speech went well, then we were off to get some lunch then an afternoon doctor's appointment for Christian. It was his 3 year well-child check up. We got to the doctor's office and they gave me a bunch of evaluation forms to fill out, just as I always do when they have check ups. Nothing about it seemed unusual to me. I filled out a form called an M-CHAT, which stands for Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers. The form didn't say what M-CHAT stood for, I just assumed it was another form, so I filled it out. I handed the forms back in to the nurse. Then Christian's pediatrician came in. He started evaluating Christian and asking me a lot of questions. He seemed to be in the room for a really long time. He was always so wonderful about taking his time with each child, and we typically spent a lot of time in the office at each visit, but this time, he had evaluated Christian for over an hour, which started to make my heart weary. The longer he sat in the room asking questions, the more worried I became. Finally he said it: "I think Christian has Autism." I laughed at him. Literally. I told him there was nothing wrong with Christian. He gave me a stack of papers about Autism and told me to go home and speak with Craig about it then schedule an appointment with a neurologist.
I called Craig as soon as I got into the car and told him. "What!? No way! Christian doesn't have Autism" is what Craig said. We both were driving home and decided we'd look for the papers after we got home and made dinner. Craig and I sat down to dinner as we read over the papers we were given. We thought it was ridiculous that the doctor thought Christian had Autism. Then there was a moment, we both looked up at each other and knew he was right.
Christian had Autism. It was that day that our lives changed. We had a son with Autism.
How could I have missed it? How could the doctors missed it all that time? Christian was in and out of the doctor all the time from all the illnesses he had related to having vaccines. He was in therapy every week already, how come no one noticed it sooner? We contacted our family and our closest friends nearly immediately. I'm the kind of person that needs support and comfort, and I needed people to talk to. We had many of our friends and family tell us that they suspected it and thought he had Autistic traits, but they didn't want to say anything to us or hurt our feelings if they were wrong. It seemed like everyone else noticed these things, but I didn't. I felt like a horrible mom and like I did neglected something in my son. But in heinz site, I could look back and see everything that were markers that I attributed to his personality, not something that could be an indication of a condition.
Christian use to lay on the floor and just watch the wheels of his trains and car rotate. He'd do this for long periods of time. I would just always think that he just wanted to be close to the car/train and watch how it worked. He liked to play alone or do things on his own, but I thought he was independent, much like his Mom. I never noticed that when he was with other children, he didn't play WITH them, but he did something called parallel play, which means he played close to them without actual interaction. Christian didn't respond the first time you called his name, I just always thought he was too busy doing what he wanted to do to listen to me. Another sign of Autism is a speech delay, and at 3 Christian wasn't really talking yet, but we were always told he was so delayed because he had ear infections for 3 months at one year old, and this caused him to have a speech delay. It wasn't until he was 3 that the doctor decided it couldn't have been related to that any longer.
Some of the other signs that are typically in children with Autism include: Not making eye contact, Not sharing in an interest (like does your child bring you a toy to show you), Repetitive movement with body or objects, Resists cuddling or holding, Repeats words or phrases verbatim, but doesn't know what they mean. Developes specific routines or rituals, and you can't break them or it will greatly disrupt them. Sensitive to light, sound or touch. It almost becomes excruciating to them.
I'll continue with our journey in my next post.....
If you would like to see an M-CHAT form, you can find it here: http://www.firstsigns.org/downloads/m-chat.PDF Or if you'd like to learn more about Autism, please visit: http://www.autismspeaks.org/
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