For I know the plans I have for you......

"For I know the plan I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Jeremiah 29:11-12

This has been my favorite verse since Christian was diagnosed with Autism. It's been the verse that I have clung to with my whole heart, keeping it as a reminder that there was a reason for the heartache we were facing at the time and what we would face in the future for him, and then again with Daniel, when he was diagnosed.

When we face trials and challenges, it is so hard to comprehend or understand why we are. In our hurts, it is so difficult to consciously decide that this must be for our good or part of a bigger plan.

I know I didn't take it lightly or easily with all the trials we've faced with our boys. I was hurt, angry, couldn't understand why. I was devastated. It took months for me to look at our situation with a heart that was going to trust the Lord and trust this wasn't a plan to destroy us, this would be a plan to give us our future.

At the time Christian was formally diagnosed (which was 2 years ago last Wednesday), we were told that he needed ABA therapy. He would need it 15-20 hours a week, and insurance didn't cover ABA therapy at this time (it wouldn't be until a year later that a bill is passed in Missouri that would require insurance to cover this critical therapy for children with Autism). The cost of therapy was equal to our house payment. We had to choose: Christian's therapy or our home. After much prayer and thought, we made the decision for Christian. It was our conclusion that we could always buy another house later down the road, but we couldn't go back in a couple of years and decide to get Christian's therapy (early intervention with Autism is critical).

Now two year's later and we feel like the Lord is showing us the prosperous plan He has for us......

We've been having testing done on Christian is see where he is in his Autism diagnosis and see what more we can do for him with therapies. After several testing appointments, we went in this morning to see what all the results are. Christian does still qualify to have an Autism diagnosis, however, he had the very bare minimum score on every test. Had he received 1 point less on each category, he technically wouldn't be considered on the spectrum any longer. This is huge in showing his progress over the last two years!! This psychiatrist informed me Christian is doing fantastic and there really is nothing more we can be doing to help him along at this point, we just need to keep on moving forward and challenging him. He was very impressed with Christian and said that he wouldn't be developmentally where he is right now if we hadn't made sure he had ABA therapy and hadn't got him the help he needed. A clear result showing we made the right decision to do everything we could to get him the therapy he needed.

We are also so excited to share that now we are getting the joy in that we are getting to purchase a home again. We are thrilled that we will get to start off the new year in a new home. The Lord is so good to us.

Finally, in the two years, we came to have a deep love and passion for running and combining it with Autism awareness. We have something that is a part of us that we never would have if our boys weren't diagnosed. We have such a compassion and heart for children with special needs and making sure that others are aware of how they can best help them and understanding their conditions better. All of this is something we were completely blind two prior to our boys.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

I've held that dear for 2 years, trusting that there would come a time that we could look back and see how our kids being diagnosed with Autism would prosper us; a time when we could see how it was a good thing. Every day, I'm getting to see more and more what a beautiful plan He has for all four of us. How everything we've gone through has been a plan for hope. He is so faithful in His promises. They may not come in days or months, it might take years, but He is faithful in His promises that He keeps us and has a plan for something beautiful in our lives. Trust in Him with whatever trial you are facing, He will be faithful in His promises and he hears your prayers.

Chaos, Changes and Victories

It's been a chaotic last couple of months. Between caring for 4 children, new diagnoses, schooling challenges for Christian, me starting back at college, running 2 full marathons, and what seems like a chronic plague of illnesses (the boys currently have the chicken pox, I've had a migraine for nearly a month and I'm having my 2nd bout of stomach flu in only 2 weeks. Not a diet I recommend!!) it's been a chaotic last 3 months. But we've gotten through it and lots of changes are coming in the Siebert household.

First off, we've had a huge victory for Christian. Today, he had his IEP meeting to determine if the school is going to change his IEP from what they purposed in March. In March, they wanted him in special education and only in a traditional class for p.e., art and recess. We made the decision to homeschool him as this plan was unacceptable to us. He was on a service plan with the school to still receive speech therapy. That teacher saw how Christian worked and saw his IEP and knew it was so unacceptable and knew it wasn't a good plan for him. She advocated for us and got the school to re-evaluate the plan. They made the decision that he is going to be in a traditional kindergarten class for the morning session, then in the afternoons, he'll be in an advanced learning class for children that also have social behavior concerns. He'll be getting to do advanced reading and learning programs while working on his social delays. This is such a huge answer to prayers for our little boy. He will be starting school the Monday after Thanksgiving. He is so excited, except he is asking to be in 2nd grade. Slow it down, my little man!!!

Next we have Leaffa and William. It looks like they will be going home in about 3 weeks from now. They will be going to go live with William's grandma and grandpa. We'll be very sad to see them go, but they really need to be with their family and they'll be getting to live with their siblings. Leaffa is ecstatic to be going home, but I know it's going to break Christian's heart to lose his best friend. They've been attached at the hip since Leaffa moved in. I'm telling ya, Leaffa has been the best speech therapist for Christian. Don't pay for a speech therapist, give a boy a 6 year old girl that never stops talking!! She's really made such an impact on our lives. We've watch Will grow and develop this sweet, red-headed little personality. It's going to be rough on us.

Marathons!! Wow, am I glad those are done!! I ran 26.2 miles, two times in two weeks. I figured out in all my obsessive thoughts of my craziness of doing this, that I was going to be running 26 miles for the first time at 26 years old, 2 times. That's 26.2 at a whole new level!!! I said I would never do it again, but I'm already having second thoughts about that. ;) I have marathon fever.

Craig will be starting a new job the Monday after Thanksgiving! Another answer to prayer!!! He wasn't looking for a new job, but heard of this opening at a company. This job is more of what he loves about his current job. He can not wait to start his new job. It's going to require a lot more traveling, but we are very excited for this change to come about for him. He works so hard and deserves to have this new career. (I love you, honey! And I'm very proud of you!!)

For my little Daniel- We could still really use a lot of prayer for him. He is having 2 different bladder problems. One is currently being treated with medication until January. If the issue isn't resolved by then, surgery may be the next option. The 2nd condition we have to pray he outgrows by age 4. If he doesn't, there's a chance we won't ever outgrow it. If that condition starts resulting in UTI's, then it's likely that he'll need his left kidney replaced as an adult. Please just keep it in your prayers that it resolves itself.

We know God is so faithful in answering our prayers, in His own time. Thank you for all the prayers we get for our family and for the boys.

Psalm 119:105-106 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws. (This is Christian's favorite verse right now)

A New Journey

Last night I laid in bed with way too much to think about. I know that new diagnosises don't change anything in the house, but it changes how we see what is going on, and know that we have work to do to help the boys to reach their full potential. We've been through so much with Christian in the last 3 years, and thought we really knew a lot. But God clearly wants us to learn a whole lot more. Daniel's conditions are nothing like Christian's, so this will in fact be a whole new journey for us.

So back to last night..... I came home from class and Daniel woke up as soon as I walked in the door. He was hysterical for no reason we could find. I took him into our bed and let him lay down with us. That calmed him down. I just couldn't sleep, thinking about everything that will be upcoming for us. I decided to lay there and hold him and just pray over him. It provided such comfort to me as I had my baby boy in my arms, just talking to God about what has been handed to us.

Several verses came to mind as I laid there, and a calm came over me as I thought about both my boys.

Psalm 139:13-14- For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

This really just calmed me. My boys were fearfully and wonderfully made. No matter what label is decided to be placed on them or what new diagnosis the doctors want to give them. They are wonderfully made. They are exactly the way God created them for us. All their days were written in HIS book before one of them came to be. God doesn't make mistakes, and I'd far more trust His plan before trusting my own, so I need to trust the days that He ordained for the boys.

Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This is a verse that I read a lot and really encourages me. He knows the plans he has for the boys and for us as parents. It's not to bring us down. Not to destroy us. But to give us hope. To give us a future.

How can I argue with what has been handed to us when I hear just these 2 verses? I look back and think over my life, and think about every time I was in a painful or difficult situation. It hurt at the time and I didn't understand it. It seemed like the worse thing. Then many weeks, months, or years later, I'd see how that situation shaped me or shaped the path that I was on and how it was necessary. I have to look at this in the same light. Of course I hurt right now for my boys and am concerned for them, but I have to be sure that God has a perfect plan for them and for us, and there is a reason for it all.

Please pray for Christian as he'll be going to a new psychologist to do further testing on him to see where he is in his Autism diagnosis. We are also having questions raised within the school district on Christian, and people hearing what the elementary school's decision was on placement for him, and they don't see it has acceptable. They are wanting to be advocates for us to get Christian where he needs to be in school, but we don't know how we feel about it. Just pray that we are led to what is best for Christian for schooling. Christian also started a new therapy on Wednesday, it's a social skills group therapy. Please pray this is beneficial for him.

Please pray for Daniel as we are starting fresh with a new diagnosis for him. Pray that we find the right behavioral therapist for him and that it is beneficial for him. He'll also be starting speech therapy in the weeks to come. Pray that God gives Craig and me strength and wisdom as we try to sort everything out for the boys and help Daniel as he starts this new journey.

Thank you so much for the prayers and support. We appreciate all the support we receive from our family and friends!!

Why We Walk (and Run) for Autism Speaks

As most of our friends and family know, we participate in the Walk Now for Autism Speaks Event in October for both of our boys, Christian and Daniel. And this year is going to be extra special to our family as the first ever 5k Before the Walk will take place! It's so neat to see something that was an idea I had last fall come all the way to an event that is actually going to take place in just 2 months!! It is super exciting for us!

As we do every year, we are fundraising and recruiting for the Walk Event. It will take place on October 15th. The 5k begins at 12:15p and after the race, each runner can then go and join a walk team (if they have one) and walk with the families for the Walk Now that will start at 1pm. This walk is incredible!! There are about 20,000 people there supporting friends, family or their own children living with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. This will be the third year walking for us, and the last two times were emotional for me, as I'm sure it'll be this year as well. It's emotional for so many reasons, but having the support of our friends and family by our sides is huge for us. We would love to have you be a part of our team! It's free to join our team and we will be ordering team shirts for anyone that is on our team (I'll be gathering shirt orders over the next 2 weeks). If you want to run in the 5k, it's only $25 (until Thursday, then it'll go up to $30).

So why do we walk? Here it is:

For Christian. For Daniel. For every family out there that needs answers now and for every family that will need answers in the years to come. Every 15 minutes a child is diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Autism is now more common than Downs Syndrome, Mental retardation and Cystic Fibrosis COMBINED. It affects 1 in 110 (1 in 70 boys), and is growing at a rate of 10-17% PER YEAR in the United States. It was just 2 years ago (when Christian was diagnosed) that is was 1 in 150. What will the number be in another 2 years??

Autism Speaks is the largest funder of research that is taking place for Autism. They are funding grants for research in causes, environmental factors, sibling factors, and even looking at taking the research and trying to find a possible cure.

They offer family services for families just getting the news of an Autism diagnosis and helps them sort through the mounds of information that they will be faced with. They provide a 1oo day kit, which is a resource that is necessary for families to use in the first 100 days after a diagnosis.

Autism Speaks are advocates for the rights of children and adults living with Autism. When Christian was diagnosed, we were declined ANY therapy services that he needed through our insurance. Autism was considered an excluded condition for treatments. It was nearly a year after he was diagnosed that a law was then passed in Missouri that no longer allowed insurance companies to discriminate against Autism and they were required to cover necessary treatments. Autism Speaks was in the front of that fight for advocacy.

Autism Speaks is close to our hearts and it is important for our family be a part of the Walk Now for Autism Speaks Event (and the now the 5k as well!!). We hope that you'll join our team and walk with us as well!!!

To join our team click here

To register for the 5k Before the Walk click here

If you would like to donate to our team, you can click on the first link, it goes to our team page. Thank you for any donations!! It all goes towards help find relief for families affected by Autism.

Thanks again to everyone for all their support!!!

2 years........

It was 2 years ago this month that our lives changed when we were given an Autism diagnosis for Christian. Wow, it's been a long 2 years. Last year on the anniversary of receiving his diagnosis, i was still in a form for grieving and sorting this for Christian. Our lives still felt flipped upside down. We've (for the most part) have embraced this diagnosis, and have always fought as hard as we could to help Christian through this, but we still struggled with dealing with all of it last year. This year, I have a new outlook. This Autism diagnosis has been such a blessing in our lives and I am so thankful for every quirky little thing about my baby boy. He has come so far in 2 years, further than I could have imagined for him.

Recently, he has started having conversations with us. Meaningful conversations that a typically developing 4-5 year old would have. I can't help but light up, and sometimes even laugh when I am talking to Christian. We are finally getting a little sneak peak into that amazing little mind of his now that he is talking so much better. I don't think we'll ever cease to be amazed by how incredibly smart he is and how fast he learns. I'm actually a little intimidated sometimes when I think about how on earth we are going to keep up with him!!

Mid school year last year, we were told Christian was "anti-social". Ha. That's all I can say to that. We were at the park early this month, I packed us a picnic lunch and we sat at a picnic table near the entry of the park. As families were coming into the park, Christian would yell out to them saying 'Hi! What are you doing here? We're eating lunch!!' LOL. He said this to several families before he looked at me and said, 'Mom, I'm going to say hi to everyone here, Ok?'. And he is like that nearly everywhere we go. He wants to say Hi to everyone. It's really funny when an adult doesn't respond to him when he greets them. A few times he has gone up to them, tapped them on their legs and said, 'hey, I'm talking to you'. Or he'll look at me and say, 'Mom, they didn't answer me, that's not respectful.' LOL. This kid cracks me up. :)

It boggles my mind when I think about the first psychiatrist we saw after getting the Autism diagnosis from his pediatrician. We saw her to get a formal diagnosis, and her exact words about Christian were 'There is no hope for you son. Grieve at the loss of what you thought you were going to have.' Wow. It's still hard not to shed a tear when I think about that. No hope? Really? The kid now speaks almost at the same level as a typically developing 4-5 year old. Reading and learning at a 2nd grade level while just turning 5 years old. No hope? Thank God we never bought into that and NEVER gave up hope in Christian. Thank God for pushing us to push Christian and make sure he was reaching his full potential. And that is what I would say to any parent that is just getting an Autism Diagnosis for their child, NEVER, NEVER give up hope in their child and what their potential could be. Don't lose faith, and stay strong. There is always hope for your child! Just keep pushing for those answers and for help!!

We are still pushing really hard to fundraise for Autism Speaks. Autism Speaks is so close to our hearts. They fund so, so much research that is helping find answers for our children. They are helping so many families with advocacy. They fight for the rights of families and individuals living with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Please help our team raise funds for this year's Walk Now for Autism Speaks Event.

You can help in a couple ways:

1- Join our team and walk with us http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=463366&lis=1&kntae463366=19574BA119964B959E08DBE6A9DEFD6F&supId=0&team=4083629&cj=Ys. It's free, and we'll even give you a team shirt :)

2- we are doing another garage sale for Autism on September 17th. Please consider donating items that you no longer want/need for us to sell.

3- Donate to our team http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=463366&lis=1&kntae463366=A73CDFA4AD164977A9355BC38D0CC558&supId=0&team=4083629&cj=Y

We continue to thank all our friends and family for all the support, love and pray you provide for us now, and have provided to us over the last 2 years!! We love you all!!!

Ephesians 3:20-22- Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Updates on everyone

I know I haven't been so good about keeping this updated lately, but whew...... it's a lot of working trying to keep up with these little guys!! So I'm going to write about each little blessing in our life and a little update on what they've been up to lately. :)

About 2 months ago we put the boys back on a Gluten-Free diet. I really suspected they were having an intolerance to gluten and decided just to remove it from their diets to see if there were any changes. Sure enough, gluten was the culprit to their belly aches, behaviors and the 'fog' Christian just seemed to be stuck in. It was clear that I needed to look at gluten as a problem when they would refuse to eat pasta (their favorite food) because they'd say 'it makes my belly hurt'. So we've been a gluten free home for about 2 months now and we no longer have any of the problems that we were having before.

Christian- Wow has he made amazing progress these last few months!! He started doing a language therapy at Children's Hospital and he is doing so well with it. And since being on the GF diet, he talks more clearly, he makes incredible amounts of eye contact with us, and his comprehension has greatly improved. Amazing!!!

Daniel- Oh little Daniel. He had a little bit of a hard time with 2 new kids coming into the house and him not being the baby anymore, but we're getting through that. He is enjoying his summer so far and having fun with all the little activities we've been putting into our days.

L- (I can't post their names anywhere, so I'll have to stick with initials)- She is enjoying her summer as well. I don't know what she thinks about being stuck with 3 crazy, rowdy boys, but she endures it rather well. We're working really hard with her right now to get her caught up for school. We started doing a Hooked on Phonics program with her and that has been wonderful for her. She is starting to get the basics of reading down, but the best part of the program is that is has built up her confidence in her ability to learn and read. We have a long way to go with her before school starts in August, but if we can give her more confidence in her ability to learn, then I think that will take her a long way because right now, she just shuts down when she thinks she can't do something. It's also been such a blessing on us to get to teach her about God and his love for us. No matter where she goes in life or how difficult her life might be, if she knows she always has God, then we know she will be ok when she leaves our home. She is such a blessing in our lives and we pray that we are to her as well.

W- He is such a sweetie pie. :) On Saturday, he pulled himself to standing for the first time and he started doing a real crawl on Saturday as well(he was doing the army man crawl before then). He is just so easy going and content all the time. He is definitely developing a little more of a personality, and it's so sweet to see.

They both have adjusted well to being here and seem to be doing fine. It's a lot of work, but it is all so worth it, especially when we see L asking to pray or talking about Christ or wanting to go to church. We know God placed it on our hearts to do this work for a reason and we just pray that He is bring glorified in this work.

Colossians 3:23-24- And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance;for you serve the Lord Christ.

Blessing of our Children

Now that we have more than just our 2 little boys, it'd be more appropriate to title this 'The Blessing of our Children'.

We've had our two new additions (through foster parenting) for 5 days now. We now have a 6 year old little girl and a 7 month old little boy. This house sure is a busy one!! My days start at 5am and then I am non-stop until well after 9pm (well, there were 2 nights this week that I was sitting on the couch around 9pm trying to hold and console our 6 year old, and just have flat out fallen asleep right around 9pm). I don't think I've ever been so exhausted from doing a Mom's job all day, but I don't think I've ever felt so blessed to be a mother. I've always felt incredibly blessed to be a mom, but didn't think it could possibly get any better. But getting to care for these two precious children is unbelievably amazing, rewarding, and such a blessing. My heart is so full of joy and happiness that it is just busting at the seams.

We've been foster parents for over 4 years now, and this the second placement we've had. The first one was almost 4 years ago. We have felt over over 6 years now this calling to be foster parents and knew this is what God was telling us to do. We are finally getting to see some of what the Lord has called us to do. THIS is what we have waiting 6 years for.

It's so amazing to see how the trials that you've endured in life end up strengthening you to prepare you for later trials or times of testimony. I feel like I can't count the number of times that I've realized how something incredibly painful in my life was later used to be something so amazing. Trials shape our character. They make us stronger. I also think trials lead us in directions so we can be further used to glorify God. I feel like I've been through a lot in my life. And even into my adulthood I questioned why some things have happened the way they did or why it has to hurt so bad, even why it hurts still now. But had I not been through those things, I couldn't see the beauty in what God has brought my life to now.

Today I took our 6 year old foster daughter to a movie. I let her pick whatever movie she wanted to see, and she picked the movie 'Soul Surfer'. I don't think she really knew what it was even about, but the name caught her attention and that's what she picked. I was pretty stoked about it because I've heard great things about the movie and I really wanted to see it. Well, it was a great movie and it was so perfect that she picked that movie. The movie is about surfer Bethany Hamilton and how she overcame an attack by a shark that left her without an arm. The movie really focused in on this unbelievable challenge and her faith in God to get through it. In the movie, Carrie Underwood's character is talking to a small group from church and was saying that when we are close to a picture, it's difficult to see what the whole picture is. We need an outside perspective to really see the whole picture. After Bethany's accident this same person told Bethany that she couldn't understand why something so terrible could happen, but one day Bethany would be able to have another perspective and see what God has planned for her and why it happened.

After the movie, this opened up some great conversations between a hurting 6 year old and I. I don't think she fully understood everything that happened in the movie, but I'm pretty sure she understood the big important parts. I was so thankful she didn't choose Hoodwinked or whatever other silly cartoons are out right now. The conversations today just may not have been quit the same, or at least I wouldn't have been able to use examples that I knew she could understand.

Anyways, I just can't express how blessed I feel right now to get to be ministering to this sweet little girl and a little bit to her family. I also feel thankful for the difficult times that I've been through in my life that prepared me for this new time and these new children in our lives. It seems weird to be thankful for times that were so painful, but I'm getting to see with a new perspective.

Romans 8:28 says 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.'

God's picture of our lives is so beautiful!! Just take the time to step back from your picture and get a new perspective.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

I Can Do All Things.....

Through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

I get told far too often from people that they don't know how I handle everything that has been handed to us. That tends to lead to them saying that they couldn't handle everything the way that I do. Maybe they're just saying that to be nice to me or make me feel better about different things I encounter. But I think I hold it together better on the outside than what is really going on inside. I go through highs and lows with everything that goes on with the boys. I don't think it's ever easy, but sometimes I feel like I have control and a handle on things, then there are times that I feel like I'm drowning and not sure how I can possibly find the strength to keep my head up for the kids. But then God reminds me that I have strength in him and he will lift me and get me through it. And really, that's the only way that I get through anything, high or low.

Lately I've been in a long going low. A lot of things are contributing to it, not just the different conditions of the boys. I nearly 10 weeks from my shoulder surgery, and still have minimal use of my right arm and still continue to be in pain. Nearly 3 months without 2 arms and being in pain equates to a lot of frustration for me, which turns to stress. I also now have to be doing physical therapy for 4-7 hours a day. A DAY. Who has time for that? But now I don't have a choice in the matter.

Then we've been having problems with both the boys. We put it all together last week and decided that the boys have a gluten intolerance. They both have nearly every sign/symptom of having this intolerance. But for weeks upon weeks prior to us putting it all together, we've been dealing with their symptoms. One of the symptoms are aggression and behavioral issues, which the boys have had, big time. It's been difficult to cope with everything they've been going through with this, which has lead to even further stress on this Mommy. I also have some personal issues that I am trying to deal with.

All of this has added up, and left me feeling like I am sinking. Like the waters have started to come up over my head.

But then God sends me signs that he hears my cries and he is with me. This morning I was driving to a health fair that I was working at. I was crying and praying. Well, I was more like calling out for help. I said: 'Lord, I'm drowning. I need your help. I need the help with the boys and I need strength. I feel like I'm alone and I need you. I need your help.' There was more said, but that's what I'll share. I was listening to JoyFm as I was driving and crying and praying. Nearly immediately after I finished saying my prayer, the song Listen to the Sound by Building 429 came on. Here come the tears again! The first verse was exactly what I was feeling. Here is the first verse:

Are you in over your head

Are you in water so deep you're drowning

Do you think you've been left

And there is no one to feel your hurting

Well, everyone has been there

And everybody's felt lost

If you're in over your head

Lift it up, Lift it up

Wow, talk about a sign straight from God that he hears me. My God that created this entire earth, the whole universe, created everything, is listening to ME. Sitting in my passenger seat this morning hearing my pleas. It amazes me no matter how many times I attempt to fathom it. It's humbling. Then after that song, Laura Story's song Blessings came on. One of my favorite songs right now. It's a song that always tugs at my heart.

Here are each of the songs:

Listen to the Sound By Building 429

Blessings By Laura Story

I only have the strength that I have is from Christ. Even when I'm hurting or feel like I can't do it, God is always with us and guiding us through. It might be painful, but it's part of his plan and will make us stronger in Christ. And knowing that God is with me every step of my trials, pulls me through the difficult times. It may not make the circumstances easier or go away, but where my heart and mind are makes me stronger to endure and push through

I can do through all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

In the same way I was with Moses, I'll be with you. I won't leave you. So be strong and courageous. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take. Joshua 1:4-9

Daniel is 3!!

My baby is 3 years old today, how did 3 years fly by that fast? My dear little Daniel, you are growing up just way too fast. You are such a fun, crazy little boy. From very early on, I've said that you are just like your Aunt Brianna, and that hasn't changed a bit (Oh Lord, please help me with that one!! JK Brianna!! :)

You are so strong willed and determined to do things. It's funny because I say all that time that you act like a middle child, and your aren't one (at least not yet, maybe you know something we don't). But you are so much fun. You are my little cuddle child and super attached to your Mommy and have been like that since day 1. You also really look up to your big brother. You are hit little shadow and want to do everything that he does, but Christian isn't so keen on that. It's really funny because your Aunt Brianna was just like that to me, and I hated it growing up. I was independent (much like Christian is) and Brianna wanted to follow me everywhere and do everything I did. It drove me crazy. But now I see you doing it to Christian and it's such a different perspective. You just love your brother so much, so we try to find a balance of giving him his space when he needs it, and making sure he lets you play with him too. Everyone says that you are just the happiest little boy. You bring joy to everyone around you.

You are such a sweet, compassionate little boy, and it is the greatest honor to me to get to watch you grow each and every day. I love you my sweet little boy!!

Here is a little picture video I made for Daniel, and you can view it here: http://youtu.be/k9-AGct0MUk

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hand of warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court. Psalm 127:3-5

Finding a Happy-Medium

I think I've come to a good compromise with the boys. It's been a strict rule of mine not to have toys in the living room. It drives me crazy to have toys everywhere, and I don't deal well with chaos of messes. I know that it seems weird or mean that I won't let them have toys upstairs, but it just becomes too chaotic for me to have stuff everywhere. Plus, I have clients that I train here at the house and I was driving myself crazy constantly cleaning up toys from all over the living room. So to keep Mom's sanity, no toys allowed upstairs. The boys have a very large space in the basement that is all fixed up and filled with so many toys that it's a little ridiculous. But....... The boys are terrified of the basement. They will not go down there without me or Craig. One time I tried to bribe them to go downstairs (I desperately needed just a short time to myself) so I gave Christian a kitchen timer, set it for 20 minutes and told them that if they went downstairs and played all by themselves until the timer went off I'd take them to the store and let them pick out a small train. Yeah.... that didn't work. It did for a few minutes then something made them panic and they lost it and were back up stairs screaming and crying. I think it's the fact that if they are downstairs, they can hear me walking around upstairs, and that noise freaks them out, but that's the only logical thing I can come up with.

Anyways, we've fought this battle of them needing to learn to play on their own, without me being right at their sides, for several months. It's hard because they won't leave my side. They lay around in the living room or hang onto me. They don't want me out of their sight. And it's hard to explain without making my kids sound like brats or badly behaving children, because that's not the case. Noises in our world just scare them and I think they like to keep me close in case they hear something and need to dart to Mom. But this entirely wears me out. I have a lot of patience, but sometimes all the patience in the world isn't enough to have your children crying and whining all day.

This week I finally decided that I NEED them to play on their own at some point during the day. I can't sit by their sides all day long, and they can't lay around all day. So, a comprise was made. I took the boys down to their playroom, gave them each a large plastic tote, and told them they can pick the toys they'd like to have in their bedrooms. They boy scattered around the room picking up their favorite toys and started filling their totes. We then carried their totes and put them in each of their rooms. And all afternoon, they played together with their toys. My rule is that toys have to stay in the bedrooms. And they've been OK with that so far. They are learning to play together, and independently, and I'm getting some much needed time to myself to clean and have my quiet time in prayer. The crying over noises has also seemed to decrease, and I think that it's because they are so distracted by playing together. Let's see if this continues.... we might be onto something here!!

Sacrifices and the Payoffs- Part 3 Autism Awareness

In December of 2009, 5 months after Christian was diagnosed with Autism from his pediatrician, we got in to see a neurologist that specialized in Autism. He then formally diagnosed Christian with PDD-NOS, Pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified. PDD-NOS falls on the Autism Spectrum. He told us Christian needed a therapy called ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis). We immediately looked into this, and it was not covered by insurance and it was a very expensive therapy. It'd cost us about $1500 a month for this therapy for Christian, but we knew he needed this therapy. We are the type that want to do anything and everything we can to help our children, and we'll do whatever it takes to help them. With lots of prayer, and lots of serious decision making, we came to the conclusion that I'd do his ABA therapy for him. This meant that I was going to have to quit my baby-sitting job that I was doing, because ABA therapy is intense and it takes hours each and every day. It was going to be a huge deal for our family, but our kids are worth it. We bought student textbooks on ABA therapy for children with Autism, and I read them. The school district that we are in had an ABA therapist, and I asked the school if she could help give me direction and make sure that I am implementing this program properly for Christian. They had to go through the district to make sure that she was allowed to do this, as they had never had a parent want to do their child's therapy themselves. The district agreed, and the therapist help me put together a program. In February of 2010, we started Christian's ABA therapy. It literally took me hours upon hours each day of doing his therapy over and over again. It was hard because it was so repetitive, but so rewarding as I personally got to see Christian making progress and developmentally flourishing. When we started his therapy in Feb. 2010 (at age 3 years and 7 months) he couldn't answer questions. At all. You'd ask a simple yes/no question and he litteraly couldn't come up with the answer. By June of 2010, just 4 months, he was answering yes/no questions and even more complex questions in which he'd have to give an answering. He was able to start categorizing people and objects. His speech improved immensely. I mean, in March of 2010, no one could understand a word he said. He sounded like he spoke in gibberish. By October of 2010, his speech was nearly at that of a "normal" 4 year old. Clearly, ABA therapy was an amazing therapy that worked wonders for Christian. In October of 2010, he was able to answer questions well enough to take an IQ test, and he tested gifted. 10 months earlier, he could hardly talk or comprehend questions or communication. None of this time period came easy for us though. There were serious sacrifices that were made by the entire family and some days were just down right grueling and I'd question my sanity on why on earth were we doing this. But the payoffs in the end were so so worth it. We pray and pray for both the boys and let the Lord lead us in the direction that he calls us in the raising and treatments for the boys. Sometimes it doesn't make sense to us why things happen in our lives, but trusting that the Lord is guiding our directions and has a plan set forth for you, makes sense in everything. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight" Just on a side note, In May of 2010, a bill was passed in the state of Missouri that all ABA therapy and other treatments for Autism MUST be covered by insurance. Insurance could no longer discriminate against Autism. Hooray!! This was huge for families affected by Autism that have not been able to receive treatments for their children's Autism, just as we had experienced many times before.

Autism Awareness-(Part 2) My emotional journey and God's Mercies

Last week I talked about the day Christian was diagnosed and the emotions that quickly followed receiving that news.

We found out on a Wednesday, and it took us until over the weekend to overcome the sadness and worry that we were feeling. That Monday morning we woke up, and we were ready to fight this with Christian. I think I spent every minute of my time for about a week researching anything and everything I could that might help Christian. It was also during that time that Craig and I knew we wanted to dedicate our marathons and triathlons to Autism. However, we found no groups for Autism that we could be a part of. So during that week is when we started we I Tri 4 Autism. We felt pretty ambitious about our plans to help Christian and to make a difference for families affected by Autism. We made a game plan of every treatment or diet that we wanted to start doing for Christian, and planned them out month by month, starting September 1st. The first thing we did we the Gluten/Casein free diet. Which means we cut out ALL dairy and wheat from our diets. This was a huge deal because Christian had about 5-10 foods he would willingly eat, and nearly everyone of those foods would have to be eliminated.

We started the diet, just as planned and Christian literally went through a withdrawal period. His body wanted his typical foods and he didn't like what was being offered to him. He regressed very quickly. He began head-banging against walls and the ground. He began punching me in the face when angry. He was throwing tantrums like we had never experienced from him. At this point, he still wasn't really talking, so he couldn't express to us what was wrong. This went on for 3 weeks. It was only a couple of days into that 3 weeks that I broke. I completely lost it. I had zero energy left in my body to coupe with what was going on with Christian, and take care of Daniel and I had a little girl I was babysitting. Mentally I was spent and emotionally I was a wreck. I was hurting, bad.

Everyday during that time period, I laid on our living room and just cried. I cried in angry for why my son. I couldn't make sense of it. I grieved for my son. After Christian past 3 weeks on this diet, he reverted right back to the child I knew, and to a child that no longer had sensory issues with foods. He would eat just about anything we placed in front of him. So the diet was helping in that aspect. But for me, I didn't come out of that funk I was in. I was really depressed, and I stayed that way for months. I mean, it was an incredibly dark time for me. I couldn't be around people, especially people with children the same age. I resented them. I cried for hours on end just about every day. I needed help. I needed someone to understand. I didn't have anyone that had a child with Autism that could relate or help me. I was lost and alone and wasn't making things any better by pushing my friends away, just because they had "normal" children.

Luckily I had some amazing friends that understood and were patient with me during that time and didn't hold it against me for being such a terrible friend. I also had friends that didn't understand, and I lost friends too.

It wasn't until mid-November that God picked me up and told me to fight again for Christian. He gave me the strength to let go of the pain and angry I was holding in. He got me past the grieving process I was in. He gave me the strength to decide to get back to doing what it took to help Christian through this. I finally felt normal again, it was still difficult for me to be around other 3 year olds, sometimes still is to this day, but I definetly no longer had the angry and resentment that I felt before.

There were still very big decisions to be made for Christian shortly after that point, but I couldn't have done it if God hadn't lifted me from the months of depression I was going through. I knew I needed to trust Him and the plan he set forth for Christian. I really leaned on the verse Jeremiah 29:11- 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Every time we hit a rough patch, I'd just pray and be reminded of those words, and my fears would be taken away and hope would be restored back in me. Some of the decisions that needed to be made for Christian (like school) were 100% not what I wanted. I did not agree with what God wanted us to do for Christian, and what I wanted to do for Christian. But gosh, trusting in Him and letting him guide us has been so much more rewarding than fighting it and trying to do it on my own. He has time and time again shown us that he is faithful and will care for us, if we trust in Him. He is faithful, always.

Autism Awareness Month- Part 1

April is Autism Awareness Month. For me, this is time of reflection, I can't help but reflect upon what has happened since the day Christian was diagnosed. I'm going to do a series of posts about our journey in hopes of raising Autism Awareness.

It's been 20 months since Christian was diagnosed. The day he was diagnosed, was a normal Wednesday for us. Christian had speech therapy at Children's hospital, which we did every Wednesday. Speech went well, then we were off to get some lunch then an afternoon doctor's appointment for Christian. It was his 3 year well-child check up. We got to the doctor's office and they gave me a bunch of evaluation forms to fill out, just as I always do when they have check ups. Nothing about it seemed unusual to me. I filled out a form called an M-CHAT, which stands for Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers. The form didn't say what M-CHAT stood for, I just assumed it was another form, so I filled it out. I handed the forms back in to the nurse. Then Christian's pediatrician came in. He started evaluating Christian and asking me a lot of questions. He seemed to be in the room for a really long time. He was always so wonderful about taking his time with each child, and we typically spent a lot of time in the office at each visit, but this time, he had evaluated Christian for over an hour, which started to make my heart weary. The longer he sat in the room asking questions, the more worried I became. Finally he said it: "I think Christian has Autism." I laughed at him. Literally. I told him there was nothing wrong with Christian. He gave me a stack of papers about Autism and told me to go home and speak with Craig about it then schedule an appointment with a neurologist.

I called Craig as soon as I got into the car and told him. "What!? No way! Christian doesn't have Autism" is what Craig said. We both were driving home and decided we'd look for the papers after we got home and made dinner. Craig and I sat down to dinner as we read over the papers we were given. We thought it was ridiculous that the doctor thought Christian had Autism. Then there was a moment, we both looked up at each other and knew he was right.

Christian had Autism. It was that day that our lives changed. We had a son with Autism.

How could I have missed it? How could the doctors missed it all that time? Christian was in and out of the doctor all the time from all the illnesses he had related to having vaccines. He was in therapy every week already, how come no one noticed it sooner? We contacted our family and our closest friends nearly immediately. I'm the kind of person that needs support and comfort, and I needed people to talk to. We had many of our friends and family tell us that they suspected it and thought he had Autistic traits, but they didn't want to say anything to us or hurt our feelings if they were wrong. It seemed like everyone else noticed these things, but I didn't. I felt like a horrible mom and like I did neglected something in my son. But in heinz site, I could look back and see everything that were markers that I attributed to his personality, not something that could be an indication of a condition.

Christian use to lay on the floor and just watch the wheels of his trains and car rotate. He'd do this for long periods of time. I would just always think that he just wanted to be close to the car/train and watch how it worked. He liked to play alone or do things on his own, but I thought he was independent, much like his Mom. I never noticed that when he was with other children, he didn't play WITH them, but he did something called parallel play, which means he played close to them without actual interaction. Christian didn't respond the first time you called his name, I just always thought he was too busy doing what he wanted to do to listen to me. Another sign of Autism is a speech delay, and at 3 Christian wasn't really talking yet, but we were always told he was so delayed because he had ear infections for 3 months at one year old, and this caused him to have a speech delay. It wasn't until he was 3 that the doctor decided it couldn't have been related to that any longer.

Some of the other signs that are typically in children with Autism include: Not making eye contact, Not sharing in an interest (like does your child bring you a toy to show you), Repetitive movement with body or objects, Resists cuddling or holding, Repeats words or phrases verbatim, but doesn't know what they mean. Developes specific routines or rituals, and you can't break them or it will greatly disrupt them. Sensitive to light, sound or touch. It almost becomes excruciating to them.

I'll continue with our journey in my next post.....

If you would like to see an M-CHAT form, you can find it here: http://www.firstsigns.org/downloads/m-chat.PDF Or if you'd like to learn more about Autism, please visit: http://www.autismspeaks.org/

Incredible Support

We do a lot of fundraisers for Autism Speaks and did one last year for TouchPoint Autism Services, and it still continues to amazes me everyone's generosity. Our family and friends are nothing short of amazing. This really means a lot to us, and it is so important for us to be strong supporters of organizations that are fighting and helping our children with Autism. Yesterday we kicked off our America's Incredible Pizza fundraiser, and it meant so much of us that our friends came to support us. We had a great time and enjoyed getting to see everyone there. This fundraiser is for the Team Up with Autism Speaks, for the Go! St. Louis Marathons. We are less than 2 weeks away from our marathon (for Craig) and half marathon (for Dani). Our time for fundraising is quickly coming to an end. Every 15 minutes another family hears the news that their child has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Autism Speaks works to fund Science Research, family advocacy, and Autism Awareness. Craig and I each have a $500 fundraising commitment. If your heart moves you at support Autism, please see our fundraising pages here: Dani's Page Craig's Page Thank you again to our amazing friends and family for their continued support!!!

The Greateat act of kindness I've ever received.... and it was from strangers

It's really funny because I posted this morning about the boys and their sensory processing disorders and how we've overcome the challenges from them and that they boys are pretty much over being scared of going places..... boy was that premature because tonight was a whole different story. I think God has a sense of humor, and I could just imagine him letting out a chuckle this morning after I said that we past through that trial of their SPDs and the tantrums from them and that we made it through. I'm sure he was thinking, just wait to see what I have in store for you tonight if you think you're done. :)

So tonight we had tickets to the Blue's hockey game. The game plan was that I was going to take the boys to the game and Craig was going to meet us there later into the game, after he got done with a dinner meeting he had for work. I was so excited to have a date with my baby boys. The boys talked about hockey all day today. They were just as excited as I was.

We got to Scottrade Center about an hour before the game started. Walked over to our section of the arena and walked towards out seats. Panic started to set in with Christian. There was a previous Blues/Oilers game going on the jumbo trons and the volume was loud, but not that loud, yet. He was starting to cry in fear and he didn't want to go down the aisle to our row, he just wanted to stand against the back wall. The only thing I could think to do was pick him up and make him come sit in the seat. I couldn't just let him stand in the aisle, and Daniel was anxious to sit and start to eat. So that's what I did. I picked him up and carried him to our seats. He was kicking, screaming, crying, panicking over the noise and the lights. He was terrified and I was beginning to cry in frustration. I thought we were over this! I called Craig immediately and told him he needed to get there ASAP.

Immediately, three of the female employees came over to see what they could do to help me. They got the boys some hot dogs, which Daniel started to scarf down, but Christian couldn't calm down. He got out of my arms and raced back up to the top. One of the ladies was standing up there, Sarah. He clung to her and wouldn't let her go. She said she was going to carry him over to the stair area and find him some ear plugs if I wanted to get Daniel and come meet her over there. Jennifer, one of the other employees offered to watch her sections and Sarah's sections while Sarah assisted us.

Sarah took us over to the security guards that gave us ear plugs, but Christian hates people touching his ears, so that wouldn't work. She then took us up to the Bud Light Zone, which was like a secluded restaurant area where we got see the ice rink, but with reduced noise and lights. It was more enclosed. As soon as we got up there, Christian calmed down. He stopped crying, and he eventually was willing to go over and watch the players warm up on the ice. Craig finally got there and he stayed with Christian up in the Bud Light Zone while I took Daniel back to our seats to watch the game.

I was so completely overwhelmed by the kindness of these ladies. They went so far and above the scope of their jobs to help me and help us enjoy the game. I'm use to people staring at us, getting dirty looks or even them saying something but never has anyone ever offered to help me or make sure everything was ok. Imagine the overwhelming feeling of 3 people rushing to my aid. They were so kind and I'm not sure what I would have done had they not helped me.

Christian eventually slowly made it down from the BL Zone back down to our seats. The ladies came over every few minutes to make sure the boys were ok and make sure we had everything we needed. They made sure we got to enjoy the game. They made sure we enjoyed our evening.

They truly cared and were beyond kind to us. I just couldn't begin to thank them enough for what they did for our family this evening. They didn't judge, they were quick to help.

I think I cried in joy the whole way home. My heart of over filled with gratefulness for these women and for God placing these perfect souls in the right spot tonight to help me. I also got a little dose of humble pie, as I don't accept help easily, but I was in a situation where I really needed it, especially since I'm only 6 weeks out from my shoulder surgery, and I have limited movement in my right shoulder.

Thank you so so much to Sarah, Jennifer and Barb from sections 117, 118 and 119!! (And hopefully they'll get to see this, as we exchanged information and I made new friends. :)

Romans 12:10 says 'Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves'
These ladies did just that tonight. Thank you again for your amazing acts of kindness to my family tonight!!

As for Daniel, he loved every minute of the game. He clapped and cheered and ate his little heart out. Luckily we were sitting in the club seats, so Daniel could eat as much as he wanted (boy I sure hope he doesn't expect that every time!! LOL). He ended up eating a hot dog, a bag of chips, 3 ice creams, a half of box of popcorn and drank a bottle of water. I don't know where the kid puts it!! We had an amazing time tonight!
And for anyone who knows my children, they fall asleep anywhere!! Yes, Daniel crashed in 3rd period. He snuggled up in my arms an fell asleep. :)

Fun Fridays

Around here, we call our Fridays, Fun Fridays. The boys have occupational therapy every Friday afternoon at Children's Hospital. So we go and do something fun for the morning until it's time for therapy. We typically end up with a play date with friends or doing something in Forrest Park, since it's so close to Children's. The boy's favorite thing right now is the Science Center. Boy do they love the Science Center, and since it's free, I do too!! :)

Fridays have been a huge learning and growing experience for all 3 of us. It's amazing to see how God uses different experiences to make us grow, and you wouldn't think a Fun Friday would do that, but it has. Fun Fridays started back in August, when the boys started going to occupational therapy. At first, Fridays were our favorite day of the week. We did something different every single week, and we all loved it. Then in Early October, Christian developed a sensory processing disorder. Daniel already had a sensory processing disorder, which is why he needed (and continues to need) occupational therapy. When Christian's SPD developed, Fridays were no longer fun for any of us, it was more like torture.

What would happen is that Christian would hear a loud noise, and unusual noise, see something he wasn't familiar with or if something wasn't well lit and he would go into a full blown melt down. And with him being the big brother, Daniel would follow suit because if it something his big brother was afraid of, then he needed to be afraid too. Trying to get out our front door was so difficult for us because the boys could hear the traffic from the highway, and it was like torture to their ears. They'd go into a panic, and it was take all the strength I had to wrangle them into their car seats so we could go somewhere. As if that wasn't exhausting enough, I'd still attempt to take them somewhere. I was NOT about to give up on our Fun Fridays, but they were slowly breaking me. I'd just pray and pray for a good morning with no panic attacks.

We'd go somewhere like the zoo. That turned out to be a bad idea as there was construction going on, and the noise of the trucks was sheer torture for them. The Magic House has dimly lit areas, which would cause a screaming frenzy. Science Center wasn't well lit, and there are those scary moving dinosaurs, which they use to love. Anything outdoors was out of the question because if the boys heard an airplane, large truck, motorcycle or any other loud noise, a meltdown would occur. Anytime we went anywhere, I was a nervous wreck, waiting for the moment a panic attack would happen.

God really used this time to challenge my patience with the boys and to better learn to comfort them. It's not that they were behaving badly or unruly children. They are hyper sensitive to noise, and the noise level is magnified for them and their brains can't fully process these noises, causing a panic. I couldn't tell them to knock it off or to stop crying. I had to hold them tightly, do my best to remove them from the situation as quickly as possible and assure them that Mommy and Daddy keep them safe, tell them those noises can't hurt them. We'd also end up sitting somewhere praying together, which always calmed all 3 of us down.

During this time I had to (attempt to) stop caring what other people were thinking as they watched my kids go into full-blown meltdown mode (as I'm sure they thought I just had bratty kids). I'm still not at the point where I really don't care, but I'm growing. I had to learn to stay calm and be patient with both of them screaming in terror of the noise they heard. This was not easy and my heart was resilient to what God was doing during that time. In fact, at the time, I didn't realize God was working something in my life, I just blamed the sensory processing disorders. By the time we got to therapy every afternoon, I was crying myself. Angry, frustrated, emotionally spent. Why? Why did they have to have such a hard time when all I was trying to do was have fun with them? I felt like a terrible mom for still making them do something every Friday when it always ended in torture for them.

A couple months passed before we found relief. The boys finally started to remain calm when they heard a noise. They started using the self-soothing techniques we taught them. They'll hear a noise, and start to repeat "I'm safe. I'm safe. Mommy and Daddy keep me safe", which is rather cute to me. They still freeze in their tracks and won't move until the noise is gone, but they no longer meltdown, for the most part.

So perseverance (which I only had through God's grace) paid off, and we continue to have our Fun Fridays, which are a little more fun now. If I had my way, we wouldn't have gone through those difficult months, but God's way is so much better than our own. His plan molds our characters and uses difficult times to help us grown. I tell ya, I think God is going to give me patience of steel by the time these boys are raised. ;)

'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand' Isaiah 41:10

P.S. For any of my friends that had the pleasure of being a part of my nervous-wreck-of-a- mommy time for those few months, I thank you for still continuing to be my friend now! I'm sure I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around, and at the time it wasn't easy for me explain what was going on. :)

Christian's First day in T-Ball

We've been excited for quite some time now for the day Christian would get to start playing baseball. This Saturday couldn't have come at a better time either.

The last couple of weeks have been extremely difficult for us. We've been in and out of teacher conferences, IEP meetings (Individualized Education Plan, that's plan the school puts together for how they will address the boys' issues) therapy sessions and therapy evaluations. It can really bring a parent down to hear so many negative things about your children. Not they they are trying to be negative, it's part of all their jobs to be addressing the needs of the boys. Constantly hearing that your child has this or that wrong with them can drag you down majorly. I was hitting rock bottom last week.

Then Saturday rolled around, and we got to take Christian to his first day in t-ball. We were really nervous when we first got there; we are always really nervous when we know Christian will be in a new situation. We don't' know how he is going to react, if other kids or parents will notice if he is acting different, if he'll hear an airplane and panic or if he'll have one of his other meltdowns.

We walked up to the group that were gathering around, waiting for the coaches to do roll call. Christian walked up to a little boy and said, "Hi, what's your name? My name is Christian Siebert." This coming from my child in which we are being told is "anti-social" in school. What a joy it was for us to see this! And I'm beginning to to have a hard time believing Christian is anti-social in school, but totally social with us in pretty much any situation we place him in. hhmmm?

Then the practice actually starts. Christian gets out there an he is good! I mean really good! He throws the ball well, caught a couple throws from his team mate and he hits like Albert Pujols!! We had multiple parents comment to us on how good Christian was. We just can't explain how this made us feel to watch him to something so well and not be told he is doing something wrong. It lifted our spirits so much. It was the perfect morning to have after the last week we had.

We can't wait to see what the rest of the season holds for Christian!!

Blogging on my boys

Well, I've decided to blog on my boys. All our families are a long distance from us, so I thought I'd blog about what is going on in ours lives to keep everyone in the loop with them. I'm sure it's not easy for any of our family members to not get to see the boys often, especially since Craig and I both grew up close to our families, but at least we can try to keep everyone connected to them. Great thing about modern technology!! :) Enjoy!!