Being an active parent has really been on my heart lately. I don't mean the active like run all around the yard with the kids (although I do enjoy doing that!!) but active as in making diligent choices that cater to their hearts, minds, spirits. I've always tried my very best 'be a good mom' and such, but everyone hits seasons where we are busy, tired, etc. and it's easier to let the little things slide by, or we realize there is more we can be doing to cater to our children's needs. I've realized lately that while I may have been doing my best before, there is so much I could have been doing. Or I was being and active parent on an on again/off again basis, but I don't want to be hot and cold for my kids. I want to always be an active parent. So what do I mean by that?
-Discipline: This is a huge issue on my heart. It is so much easier to quickly address the situation and tell the kids to stop the bad behavior and walk away or set them in time out. But this teaches them nothing. What a huge teaching opportunity that is being tossed away! But to sit down and talk with them about the actions, how it affects the other person, how it makes God feel, and how it makes Mom and Dad feel to see them act like that opens up conversation with them. Then asking them to pray for forgiveness for their actions and for the anger they are holding in their hearts is teaching them to pray throughout the day, not just at night as so many children do. This also gives us the opportunity to talk to our children about sin and the forgiveness we receive from our sins, how and why we get forgiveness.
-Taking that time to be on the floor playing with them. This is a hard one for me. All they enjoy doing is playing trains, and frankly, there is only so many times I can push Thomas or Gordon or Percy or whoever around the track before I'm bored out of mind. But that's not the point. Those are precious moments to spend with them. It's about building a relationship, trust, love, friendship. It's not about the fact that pushing a train on the train is silly to me, it's the fact that I'll never get today back, and my sweet child WANTS their mommy to play with them. How does it make them feel when I say, 'not right now' and go off to do something that in all reality, can wait (like the laundry or dishes).
-Setting the best example possible for the boys: Last week Craig was reading his Resolution for Men book and read a passage of it from it and it really caught my heart, so I'll share it:
God's word must "be on your heart." Children who forsake the faith are usually those who did not see God actively working in their parents' lives. But they develop an appetite for God when they see their dad and mom truly loving Him and walking with Him, when they see the blessings and rewards of your obedience firsthand. Whether itj's delighting in His creation, enthusiastically telling them stories from His word, or celebrating His goodness in ordinary conversation, you should delight in the Lord around your kids. You can't inspire them with truths you're not living yourself. So when God answers prayers, tell your kids about it. When He changes your heart or you overcome temptation, celebrate it with them. When you face a season of suffering or persecution, let them see the strength of your faith. Point out how He works. One clearly answered prayer can powerfully instill faith toward God in the heart of your child. One humbly confessed mistake can help them see the everyday reality of God's redemption. Every day gives you fresh material for making your life with Christ a front-row experience for the whole family.
I just found this to be such a great paragraph. We thought back over it and we could see direct examples of how this it so true. Making these choices every day is being an active parent.
I can only pray that doing each of these thing for Christian and Daniel are going to help raise them to be strong, courageous men of Christ, but in the last couple of weeks that I've made the decision to be more intentional in my parenting, I've found that I've been incredibly blessed by it. :)
These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and whenyou walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. Deuteronomy 6:6-7
