Last night I laid in bed with way too much to think about. I know that new diagnosises don't change anything in the house, but it changes how we see what is going on, and know that we have work to do to help the boys to reach their full potential. We've been through so much with Christian in the last 3 years, and thought we really knew a lot. But God clearly wants us to learn a whole lot more. Daniel's conditions are nothing like Christian's, so this will in fact be a whole new journey for us.
So back to last night..... I came home from class and Daniel woke up as soon as I walked in the door. He was hysterical for no reason we could find. I took him into our bed and let him lay down with us. That calmed him down. I just couldn't sleep, thinking about everything that will be upcoming for us. I decided to lay there and hold him and just pray over him. It provided such comfort to me as I had my baby boy in my arms, just talking to God about what has been handed to us.
Several verses came to mind as I laid there, and a calm came over me as I thought about both my boys.
Psalm 139:13-14- For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
This really just calmed me. My boys were fearfully and wonderfully made. No matter what label is decided to be placed on them or what new diagnosis the doctors want to give them. They are wonderfully made. They are exactly the way God created them for us. All their days were written in HIS book before one of them came to be. God doesn't make mistakes, and I'd far more trust His plan before trusting my own, so I need to trust the days that He ordained for the boys.
Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
This is a verse that I read a lot and really encourages me. He knows the plans he has for the boys and for us as parents. It's not to bring us down. Not to destroy us. But to give us hope. To give us a future.
How can I argue with what has been handed to us when I hear just these 2 verses? I look back and think over my life, and think about every time I was in a painful or difficult situation. It hurt at the time and I didn't understand it. It seemed like the worse thing. Then many weeks, months, or years later, I'd see how that situation shaped me or shaped the path that I was on and how it was necessary. I have to look at this in the same light. Of course I hurt right now for my boys and am concerned for them, but I have to be sure that God has a perfect plan for them and for us, and there is a reason for it all.
Please pray for Christian as he'll be going to a new psychologist to do further testing on him to see where he is in his Autism diagnosis. We are also having questions raised within the school district on Christian, and people hearing what the elementary school's decision was on placement for him, and they don't see it has acceptable. They are wanting to be advocates for us to get Christian where he needs to be in school, but we don't know how we feel about it. Just pray that we are led to what is best for Christian for schooling. Christian also started a new therapy on Wednesday, it's a social skills group therapy. Please pray this is beneficial for him.
Please pray for Daniel as we are starting fresh with a new diagnosis for him. Pray that we find the right behavioral therapist for him and that it is beneficial for him. He'll also be starting speech therapy in the weeks to come. Pray that God gives Craig and me strength and wisdom as we try to sort everything out for the boys and help Daniel as he starts this new journey.
Thank you so much for the prayers and support. We appreciate all the support we receive from our family and friends!!
